Week One

I survived! I made it thru a whole week, followed the plan, and lost 5 lbs!!! Yeah! It wasn't as hard as I thought, but I did make some mistakes. I learned some hard facts about myself, also.

My first "official" day of hard core following the plan was Saturday. In retrospect, maybe not the best choice. First off, the hubby is home. He has a lot of influence on meal choices. He wanted Jimmy Johns for lunch, and truthfully, so did I. So thinking I was making a smart choice, I had him get me a turkey sub. Mmmmm...it was delicious! After I was all done enjoying that sub, I decided to look it up to get the calorie info, and figure out how many points I had just eaten. Oh. My. God. That sub had 555 calories, 26 grams of Fat, and 24 grams of Protein. When trying to convert that to W.W. point system , it was literally off the charts! It was over 12 pts!! That's a lot when you only get 31 pts per day! I had doomed myself before I hardly got started!

After my shock and disappointment in myself, I realized that all was not lost. I had 35 extra points to spread across the week. It was not exactly how I wanted to start, but it taught me a valuable lesson. PLAN what you are eating, before you eat it! Later in the week, DH (dear hubby) wanted to meet me at Quizno's. So I immediately looked up it's point value in my handy dandy WW dining out book. I found two subs that were 6-7 pts. , the Traditional at 7 pts, and the Honey bourbon chicken at 6. Now my usual favorite's range from 11-19 pts. It was sooo empowering to make that decision to stay with in the guidelines, yet still be able to go out to lunch. Kudos for me....a small step in the right direction.

Now for the hard facts part of this story. My relationship with certain siblings can have a huge impact on how I view myself, and how I feel about myself. A little background.... About 13 yrs ago, we moved 300 miles away from my parents and siblings, for my husband's job. As the years went on, our relationships were based on seeing each other at holidays. Maybe 1 or 2 times a year. While I and my family were living our lives here in Southern Il, my siblings were finding new directions for their lives, as people often do. Several of them became born again Christians. I myself was raised Catholic, and admittedly, I am a lapsed Catholic. And a liberal.
The sibs are very conservative. Our differences really came to light with the advent of Facebook, and the last Presidential election. Being the outspoken people we are, Facebook became a hotbed for the expression of our differing opinions.

Long story short, the latest scuffle involves the premise that if you support President Obama, you can't be a Christian. Cut and Dried. Either your in, or your out. So of course, I am out, because I do support the President. A recent post from a sib really, really had me angry. I was so angry that I had to leave the house, because I wanted to eat. So I went out and tried a little retail therapy. Two hours later I was still burning mad, and hurt, and feeling worthless in their eyes. I was in line to make a purchase, and there was a display of M&M's...plain and peanut. And I wanted them both bad, real bad. I deserve this! I thought. I need this chocolate...it will calm me down. And then it occurred to me that I was letting those negative comments from the sib control me. And amazingly, I did not have to give them that control. When that realization hit me, I was able to walk away from that chocolate.

I had never really thought about how my emotions impact my eating. I am stuffing food into my face in an effort to make myself feel better. But that doesn't really make me feel better, only worse. I know that I really can never change my family's opinion of me, unless I want to change who I am, and what I believe, to suit them. I need to let this go, and concentrate on my health, both physically, and emotionally. I need to find out within myself why their opinion even matters to me. I have a wonderful husband (who they don't like) and three great kids. why can't that be enough